Why do I still feel so alone?

01:23 Random , Rants , Stories 0 Comments

Today was a quite a fun day, I watched Love Story (1970) and went to my uncle's birthday party in Romulo's but why do I feel so alone?

I somehow noticed how I've been so isolated but is it my fault? I try to stay in touch and reconnect but I guess time and distance do a lot of magic behind our backs. I always hear about nights out, dinners, bonding sessions, etc. involving high school friends. I take a look at myself and realize how I am left with none of them. Back in high school I used to have a lot people who got my back for me, no matter what but taking a good look at me now... no matter what, they're not there anymore. I remember how my friends and I would randomly watch movies but now, I barely send them messages.

I blame myself for being so isolated, then; true friends would find ways, MAKE WAYS to stay connected right? I can count with one hand friends of mine who go way back that do make ways.

Someone once told me that a lot of people care for me, I'm just too concentrated on one person. That's the problem, I'm too concentrated on one person, I tend to shun the others away. Is there something I'm looking for? Perhaps a hole in my hear waiting to be filled?

I know some of the reasons why I feel so alone but I don't know the others. For the reasons I do know of, what am I supposed to do? I want to laugh til my eyes tear up, I want to watch movies randomly again, I want to feel alive again.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm turning into something people never thought I could be - a loner.