May kinakatakutan ka ba?
Ako, marami.
Isa sa mga pinakakinakatakutan ko ay yung masaktan. Hindi ko kasi alam kung anong gagawin o paano ba paalisin ang sakit na nadarama sa tuwing nasasaktan ako. Malabo ba?
Itong mga nakaraang araw, nahihirapan ako matulog… actually, takot ako matulog. Kahit inaantok na ako, parang ayokong ipikit ang aking mga mata dahil sigurado akong makikita kita.
Makikita kita, hindi kita mapaalis. Maalala ko ang lahat, hindi ko 'yun makalimutan. Masasaktan lang ako at hindi ko alam kung paano 'to paalisin.
Paano nga ba?
Tulad ng lagnat, sipon, ubo atbp., meron bang gamot para sa pusong sugatan?
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| ℅ Mariel Martinez |
Noong Y!M pa ang gamit ng mga tao para magusap, isa sa paborito kong gawin ay ang subukang gumuhit. Ginuhit ito ng aking kaibigan, pinahuhulaan nya kung sino 'to. Ikaw, kilala mo ba sya?
Sya ang lagi kong nakikita sa tuwing ipipikit ko ang aking mga mata, boses nya ang lagi kong naririnig kapag tahimik ang paligid. Masasabi ko bang iniiiwasan ko sya? Gusto ko ba syang iwasan?
Ewan ko, bakit ba ang hirap masaktan. Hindi ba't masmasakit at masmapait kapag alam mong masasaktan ka kumpara sa andyan na 'yung sugat, hindi s'ya gaano kasakit.
Ilang oras na ba ang nakalipas, hindi parin ako makatulog sa takot na muli akong masasktan pag nakita kita.
It's true, it couldn't get any lonelier when you're not with me BUT I couldn't be any happier when I'm with you. Even if we're just talking on the phone.
I remember a post I made around two years ago, I was all giddy and in-like. Now, it's the same feeling except I know that it's more than just liking you. Funny how I'm so sure that I'll be ending up with you.. maybe it's because you're the only one who has given me that feeling. The ability to make me feel secure about a lot of things.
Everytime my phone rings, I pray that it's you and when it is, I turn into a whole different person.
I guess we're both just waiting for the right time :)
Facebook has this application or widget that shows a person's status or one of it on the same day, last year.
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| A status two years ago. |
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| September 5, 2010 |
I remember this status in particular because I remember a promise made to me. It was agreed upon that on December 21, 2010, you were supposed to come to the Philippines and celebrate your birthday and the holidays with me. How can I forget? I looked forward to that day every minute of every day. I was so excited, I could be with you again.
Do you remember now?
Remember, remember?
You didn't come. Do you remember why you didn't come? Because we had a "fight" I was too busy with school; having two production classes, I barely had time. Remember how you got jealous of the people I worked with and the professor that I had a crush on? Yeah, those were the reasons why you didn't come.
It doesn't add up, you know. How can those petty things be a huge burden for you not to come here? It really broke me, not having you over. It was definitely frustrating but what could I do? Buying a ticket to go where you are sounds easy but I would have never been allowed knowing that you would be there, my parents would never say yes to that idea.
Now?
We're not together anymore, we're barely friends.
I don't know if I still want that kind of set up - a long distance relationship. I don't know if I can keep waiting any longer for you. I don't know if I can keep holding on to those empty promises of you going here. One thing's for sure though, I still want you.
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