Have I Told You Lately

23:35 Disappointments , Random , Rants , Stories 0 Comments

..that I love you?

Well, it looks like I haven't.

It's been a week, I think, since the last time I updated my blog. Well, everything's been so busy lately and I just haven't found the time to sit down and just type. Though I wanted to type things so bad, I couldn't. There were other important things that had to be done.

The countdown for the grand launch of my business - Sobriety, has started. EIGHT DAYS. EIGHT MORE DAYS. I feel the pressure, I feel the stress, I feel the everything that there is to feel. It's really messing with my head right now. All this stress from school, business, family, etc. it's driving me crazy.

Everything just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing. I just want to say STOP. I need time to think everything through, I need time for myself too. Everything is becoming so frustrating, so disappointing. Within the seven days that I was not able to write anything, a lot has happened. I cannot believe how disappointed I am at some people.

If there is one thing that I hate so much, it's messed up priorities. I understand all the extra curricular things going - you can say all you want about how I don't understand because I'm not part of it and shit but I do. I know what its like to be part of something and feel that acceptance you've been wanting for so long, finally you have it and you don't care about anything anymore. This is what you want, you have, you'll do everything to keep it. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS. I did that before and a lot of things suffered without me knowing it. I don't want the same thing happening to you and aside from that, PEOPLE ARE BEING FUCKING AFFECTED BY YOUR MESSED UP PRIORITIES. See, you're alive and by being alive, you need to fucking cooperate.

You mess with me, I kill you.

I'm not trying to make myself look good here because I've been doing a lot of wrong shit and my god, qwertyiolkjhgdsvbnmwertyu. Every time I do something wrong, my world crumbles. It's true, I make it a big deal. Everything is such a big deal for me. I guess I'm trying to brush off the feeling of emptiness, loneliness and pain.

It's just been hell basically and I guarantee myself that it won't get any better. Why bother, right?