[phone conversation]

Girl: WTFWTFWTFWTF FUCK IT. Hello?

Boy: HELOOOOOO!!

[line gets cut. Girl bangs her phone on the table. Boy calls again]

Girl: Hello?

Boy: nvoisaurfnaifcujamriunfn

Girl: Ha? Hello? Hello?

Boy: cnioejtrnapor

Girl: My phone's broken. I'm getting pissed what the fuck. I hate this phone, fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

Boy: Let's not talk now.

Girl: Why?

Boy: You're getting pissed...

Girl: And I'm making you stressed... Fine.

Boy: Bye..

[line gets cut before Girl can even say "bye"]

I  wrote an entry before about being far away from your significant other. Well, here's another one. My significant other used to be in the same time zone as me, I had no problem with that. Now, he's in New York...it's I don't know how many hours but I can calculate it in my head. Sorry, I'm bad at Math. Anyway, we had an unstated quarrel a while ago which left both of us bitter. I wanted to cry so bad. Run into his arms, hug him tight and say, "I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to stay close." but I couldn't. I was in school, he was in New York; about to sleep. After about and hour, his cousin texted me that he was rushed to the hospital. He was having on of those attacks he'd get from his heart. I was worried sick. It was my fault... as usual. I didn't know what to do.. I was so pissed for not being able to be there for him or at least watch over him. I was so pissed at myself. Why am I not beside him now?  It's always needs over wants, right? I think that this time, my needs and wants are on the same level. I want to be there for him so bad but at the same time I need to stay here to finish studies.

Like what I said before, my words can only do so much and lately, it's not doing anything good. At all. I have been stressing him out.. I shouldn't be. Would it be too selfish for me to keep him close? Is it stupid to let him go because I don't want him to hurt anymore... I want him to live a nice happy life now and if I am the source of his stress... that is not good. At all.

I'm lost. Someone. Save me. Please